Comparison is the thief of joy Theodore Roosevelt

In the very strange world that we’re living in at the moment, while I’ve been able to keep my ‘hand’ in with praying for a large number of people – over the internet and over the phone – and some speaking, again online to churches and groups, while I’ve enjoyed the latter, it doesn’t have the same ‘feel’ as preaching in a church understandably, especially as frequently it’s just a computer screen and not people in front of me! One of the things I love doing, that I’m not able to do in these months, is to sit with the people I’m praying for and see, as well as feel, their needs, and pray with an arm around them…

I’ve had time to pray, and read – which hopefully will come in useful in the future when – or if? – the world returns to ‘normal’ and if I am remembered by people who once invited me to speak!. I think we’re looking at a new and unknown ‘normal’ whatever happens. I’ve purposely chosen to read things that have challenged me, and given me fresh impetus for the future. Included in my reading has been two books about China and it’s amazing revival and churches – ‘Lilies among Thorns’ (a biography of sorts about The Heavenly Man, Brother Yun), which I’ve read many times now since it was published: and one I’d not read, ‘Bold as a Lamb’, the biography of Samuel Lamb, who had so much impact on my life spending time with him when visiting China a few times in the late eighties, and who, until his death aged 88, in 2013, was the prime mover in leading the House Church movement and shepherding the revival after Wang Ming Dao had passed away in 1991.

It made me long to see God do in the western world what He’s done and is still doing in China. One thing that really impacted me so much when I met Samuel a few times, and in the book – apart from his 21 years of in hard labour and the incredible attitude he had in those years – (with hundreds getting saved in 15 years in a coal mine in Mongolia) – was his desire not to ‘compete’. His incredible humility and his determination led him not to be in competition either with the Three-Self Patriotic Movement (the state church), other pastors, or the government. He never compared what God had told him to do with others, either. I’ve tried to learn from him since meeting him in the late 1980s, and from his book. He’s now in glory with Jesus, who was his main inspiration.

Over the years, I’ve been involved with people and events where there has been real competition between speakers, comparison of numbers, the competition to preach – even on the teams I’ve taken with me over the last 40 years, I’ve found that ministry – or the desire for a ministry – can bring the worst out of some people, and had occasions where people have tried to ‘steal’ the place we’ve been in from my future involvement as they would be ‘better for you here than Paul’… I love to build good friendships with the people I go to, and those who have tried to ‘oust’ me have discovered the strength of those relationships built, and the ‘local’ people told me what was said to them. Those people don’t feature on my ‘invitation’ list to be on a team with me since those days, nor do they go to those places either!!! I’ve tried to learn – and still try – not to take offence, to forgive, and move on, though that doesn’t mean they’d be included in further trips!

Heather Tomlinson, of Christianity Magazine, wrote this recently about ‘celebrity’ Christians, the ones who are frequently in competition for status and position:

I observed that (Jackie) Pullinger’s behaviour at a Christian conference was very different from many Christian ‘celebs’ I’d come across. She did no hob-nobbing with the pastors and Christian leaders, preferring to stay with the recovering addicts she’d brought with her. She was trying her best to avoid being interviewed and photographed by me. When I finally cornered her and dragged her in front of my dictaphone, she was reluctant, and only warmed up when I raised the issue of her celebrity status, which she described as “very” difficult.

It’s anti the gospel,” she said. “God said: ‘I will pour my Spirit out on all flesh.’ So, the more you put one person on a pedestal, the more people think there’s a special anointing or something, which is not So, the more you put one person on a pedestal, the more people think there’s a special anointing or something, which is not true, and it actually makes the Church go backwards and not forwards. We’re not going to reach the ends of the earth if we’re relying on a few specially anointed or gifted people. The good news is that the job was given to every ordinary, weak kind of person.”

It’s always amazed me that, even with someone as insignificant as me in ministry, there are people who want to use ‘friendship’ with me as a means to develop and establish a ‘ministry’ of their own. It’s another form of competition – even using ‘supporting me’ financially as a carrot for me to ask them to go on trips with me. I’m very glad that, while I’ve never had much money, God’s enabled me to not be driven by the love of money, though, of course, I do need it(!) and I’m eternally grateful to the core of people who support me.

In the lockdown, I’ve seen on social media lots of people in ministry reporting on meetings they’ve done – some (not many!) seem to be busy – and I’m so glad for them. It’s been a very tough time for everyone, none of us would ever have imagined how 2020 would turn out. It would be very easy to be envious of these ‘more famous than me’ people, but I can honestly say I’m pleased for them.

Maybe you’d spare a prayer for preachers who, like me, don’t have a big (or little!) organisation behind them other than pray-ers and advisers, and are ‘on their own’, as the gifts from preaching are a vital lifeline financially – for me, about 40% of my ‘income’ comes – or rather, came(!) from that source. I’m so grateful for people who support what God has called me to do, so I’m not complaining, just explaining! I know that God told me never to seek prominence right back almost 42 years ago: and the countries he’s taken me to have been mainly poorer countries and ‘under the radar’

Comparison and competition are so destructive – it causes people to put others down, devalue their ministry/calling by God, devalue them as people. I’m grateful for what God has called and enabled me to do for the past 42 years. I have no desire to be someone else or be like someone else. Folk I take with me on trips, whether in the UK or overseas, would tell you that, when we’re away, my desire is for THEM not to listen to me preach, or watch me pray for people, but for them to preach and pray for people and to believe that God will do miracles through them. More often than not, I take people with me who I KNOW are better preachers than me (that’s not too difficult!) and who have gifts that I don’t have. I LONG to see other people released into something new for them: competition isn’t relevant (unless I’ve not discerned correctly the people I ask, and they have hidden agendas).

One of the areas God dealt with me on was numbers – that dreadful threat as leaders we can get into where the number in our church is concerned. Excuses as to the size of our church often precede the admission of numbers…Many years ago I was at a big conference (great catchy title – The International Charismatic Convocation on World Evangelisation!!), 5000 from all over the world. and I was, at that time, in a church of 60 people. A seminar speaker said to introduce ourselves to someone we didn’t know: I didn’t know ‘Miguel’ sitting next to me, assumed he was from Spain (didn’t know any Latin American countries at that time!) and that Spain was tough for evangelicals. I discovered he was from Chile – I’d heard nothing about what God was doing in Chile, and he wasn’t from Santiago, so a ‘small town man'(!!), and he was a Methodist… so I was no longer in fear of telling him ’60 people’ if he asked… He got in first, asking where was I from/what sort of church/how many people…. and I wasn’t too ashamed to tell him…. then the floor was his in our conversation. Not Santiago? Methodist? How many in your church, Miguel? 425,000… I was gobsmacked. I’d already compared, competed in my mind, and judged him…. Never again would I judge – or be ashamed…..

“Comparison is corrosive. It either puffs you up to pride or drives you down to despair.
Don’t compare yourself with other Christians, your gifts with their gifts, your ‘success’ with their ‘success’. We are all on the same side. We should be trying to help, love and encourage one another as we fight the spiritual battle together.”

Nicky Gumbel

Comparison and competition are not on God’s agenda. I love to listen to and watch people who have the same heart as I do, but who are much better at what I do than I am. I’m always wanting to learn from people, including people less time in ministry than me, and younger than me. When we compare or enter into a competitive attitude with others, we devalue the, and the superior’ attitude that results is incredibly destructive. We need to value each other, not compete. Underestimating the value of others

When we undermine the value of others by putting ourselves up against them, we miss out on the best God has got for us. This story below sums that up:

A father said to his daughter “You graduated with honours, here is a car I acquired many years ago. It is several years old. But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you. The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because it looks very worn out.” The father said,” Take it to the pawnshop.” The daughter went to the pawnshop, returned to her father and said,” The pawnshop offered $100 because it was a very old car.” The father asked his daughter to go to a car club and show them the car. The daughter took the car to the club, returned and told her father,” Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it since it’s a Nissan Skyline R34, an iconic car and sought out after by many.” The father said to his daughter,” The right place values you the right way,” If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value

I’d love, at the end of my life, for this testimony to be my story – this was found in the desk of a young Zimbabwean pastor who had died for his faith some 40+ years ago: No competition with anyone, just utter determination to nail his colours to Jesus’s mast…

I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colourless dreams, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labour by power. My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colours will be clear.

It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t mind who gets the credit.

Ronald Reagan

I’ve never wanted fame, nor ‘big’ platforms, I’d prefer to honour others who are better than me (and that’s a vast crowd), give others opportunity to see God in action, to preach if they’ve never preached, to see healings and miracles if they’ve had little opportunity or success in the past – I hope if you were to ask 95% of the people I’ve taken with me on trips over the last 35-40 years (and local ‘nationals’, too) that they’d say that’s true. I’m a facilitator as much as I’m a minister…

For everyone I know to whom it’s relevant, a very happy Valentine’s Day. I hope it’s been a great day for you.

You don’t need me to say that the past twelve months has been the most surreal year. It feels like day 63,426 of the lockdown! My prayer is that all who read this (and those I know who don’t!) have been protected from the worst excesses of the virus, or have known God’s healing and blessing in it. It’s been a privilege to be asked to pray for healing for quite a number of covid ‘victims’, many have been healed, others improved, and many, many other people over the phone and internet of a large variety of other serious and not-so-serious illnesses.

My ‘style’ of praying for people has had to be ‘amended’ for praying online or phone, as I’m usually an ‘arm around’ people, and engaging with each person individually, which is obviously not possible in this ‘climate’. It’s a very different dynamic right now. I’ve been inundated with requests for prayer, and realistically can’t take all of them.

My great friend Thanney, my wonderful ‘Cali’ companion, was hit with it very badly around Christmas, quickly hospitalised for a number of days, with a very heavy-duty oxygen mask (doubtless heading for a ventilator) – but through prayer was miraculously healed and released from the hospital within 38 hours. He’s still regaining strength but is doing great.

It has been a delight, too, to be able to preach online, though it seems as the months have gone by I’ve fallen off of s few radars where that’s concerned! It seems from reading lots of social media posts that the ‘thrill’ of zoom services has waned, so that would explain it a little.

As someone who has spent a lot of his life loving people it’s been my privilege to meet, in a multitude of countries, the hardest thing for me in the never-ending lockdowns we’re living in has been not being able to be with ‘people’ or to travel. When I pray for people, wherever I am, I love to ‘engage’ people, an arm around them, a hand on their hands – and wow, do I miss people…

.I’m a ‘hugger’ – if you know me, you’ll know that (!) – and the last person I had any form of human contact with was a local doctor when he stuck needles into my knees (hardly delightful or fulfilling contact!) early in December… It would have helped more if the injections had been good, but sadly not, and made my knees worse to the point where I will have contact with a person on Tuesday – when I have more steroid injections from a different doctor to try and counter the negative impact of the last ones!

On Valentine’s Day, while I’m very aware that I’m single, it doesn’t mean I don’t want – or need – contact… I’ve been alone for nearly 20 years, so I’m used to living alone, but I live for the close friendships where I get hugged, and for the many friendships where hugging is a ‘given’ and the myriad people I’ve prayed with over 37 years who I’ve had the joy of hugging. We were made to be loved, and care for each other: it’s been my delight to be a beneficiary of, and a donor of, loving and caring for countless people worldwide. I miss it more this Valentine’s Day than ever because of covid19…

Forty-two years ago this week, I knew that I knew that I knew God was telling me to quit my career in banking and start in full-time ministry, a decision was that painfully hard (in that moment) but that I’ve never regretted. It cost everything – salary (not been paid one since), career, pension (though some years ahead, like now – I don’t have one!), subsequently home, possessions (in total 5 times – still never an easy sacrifice), friends, family security… Two weeks tomorrow (14th) I’m 68 years old, and while ‘Covid19’ year 2020 has been like a ‘preparation time’ for retirement, it’s never my plan to retire unless my body has other plans!

Many people told me that I was crazy (I still am but a little less to give up now!) when I told them I was swapping a good future with one of the big banks to go salary less with Youth for Christ in East Sussex. Still crazy after all these years, though somewhat slower these days as my knees have got a lot older than I have…

But while it’s been a sacrifice in so many ways, it’s been an incredible ‘journey’ seeing God move in miracle power and with countless people healed and saved. And if I’d ever known 43 years ago what God had in store, I’d have said ‘Never! Not me. I’m too shy, don’t like foreign food, and I don’t ever want to travel’…

For a few years, I didn’t have to travel too far, as I was UK based, though I had the privilege of spending time with people I used to love hearing preach – Clive Calver, Tony Campolo, David Pawson, and many others. The massive surprise came in 1986 when God spoke very directly through nine different people that I would travel to the ends of the earth praying for the sick and preaching the gospel. Not me! Not going… God can be very persistent, and when I gave in, I said ‘O.K, Lord, anywhere except Africa or India’. – needless to say, my first invitation came – from Ghana, a nation I fell in love with within 24 hours, and through Ghana, a whole continent. It was the same with India in 1992.

Some funny things have happened, some incredible things – like the big car crash in 1994 when I and Kathryn (driving me to the airport) should have died, another in 1996 in Mozambique with missionary friend Tim, visiting 109 countries (some only once, many multiple times – Colombia 89, Romania 129, Mexico 30, France I’ve lost count…), having the Inland Revenue telling my (then) accountant in 1994 that they were writing me out of the tax system (I never earned enough) because ‘Mr Bennison doesn’t have a job, he has a hobby’!!

A travelling ministry that has stretched from China/South Korea to West Coast USA, Christchurch New Zealand to Buenos Aires Argentina, Northern Minnesota/Montana USA to Melbourne/Sydney Australia, has been demanding in terms of travel, climate changes, food, accommodation, and expense, but I can truly say I’ve never regretted any of what it has cost, and as 2021 beckons, hopefully covid-free, airports will once again become home from home!

God spoke to me when I began a life of ‘ministry’ – whatever that means – that I was never to seek fame/ a ‘platform’/ or income. And for the last 42 years, I’ve spent my life largely in poorer countries, or poor communities in wealthier countries. It’s been my privilege to hold and hug people dying with contagious diseases like AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria, typhoid, and more, and pray for them while letting them know they’re loved… many times in the past, yes, they’ve died – BUT some have been healed not because of ‘superpower’ on my part but because of sitting with them, holding them, hugging them, getting covered with their snot, saliva, tears… and you know what? I’ve NEVER caught anything that they have been afflicted with.

The video here was on Facebook today, and features someone who achieved massive success – Tim Tebow, a great American football player, a committed Christian, whose life was impacted by a photograph. A photograph of a starving child that won the photographer the Pulitzer Prize that year. I’ll let Tim Tebow tell the story in the 5-minute video.

Over the 42 years I’ve been serving God as a travelling missionary, it has changed my life many, many times from the person I was when it began. I’m grateful that God spoke those words to me back in 1978, as I could never have survived many of the things I’ve seen, and with God’s help, done. There have been many times, though, when I know that I failed to have more significance because of fear, insecurity, doubt – especially in the early years. I hope and pray that as the years have passed, I’ve grown out of the fears and into a place of wanting to see God move mightily – and genuinely to see Jesus increase as I decrease.

Over the years I’ve met many who were more on the ‘success’ track – I’ve taken a few with me on teams due to my own lack of judgement, and, and have learned the hard way about those in ministry with the wrong motives. I was hugely influenced by a wonderful talk I heard many years ago (I blogged about this some time back) by the late Ken McGreavy, ‘Do you want prominence, or do you want significance?’. I know – and I’m glad – I’ll never be famous, though I love reading reports of people who preach to mega-thousands and see huge results. I love what God has called me to do, though it has its downsides in that the ‘big’ names have a big ‘drawing power’ for raising support.

This isn’t an excuse for me to make a financial appeal, though these ‘pandemic’ days have been something of a nightmare with no preaching opportunities, so no offerings to bolster the regular support, which has taken a big ‘hit’ this year due to the huge fears of the virus with lost donors, humanly understandable, but devastating this end with no offerings!

The wonderful thing is the fulfilment of knowing lives change, even over the internet or phone, and I’m still sure that God has a future and a hope for me in ministry, and that the promised help I’ve been waiting for, which will mean a home of my own, will come, one day. It’s not about ‘success’ or ‘your best life now’ – it’s being significant even when it’s not a world-changing way – just in a life-changing way for many people.

This video clip is well worth watching – Tim Tebow was a hugely successful American Footballer, but his message here is about someone very different – a Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer.

This would be my goal – as John G Lake is quoted below – count the cost, pay the price… not make the profit, of seeing people set free. I heard recently a ‘faith preacher’ (no name mentioned) who said that Jesus went to see him and told him he’d be the first billionaire (US$) preacher. He’s only currently worth a ‘modest’ US$760 million – his glee on the video was obscene. I don’t believe Jesus would do that personally…but to this person, it was the ultimate ‘success’. God preserve me from ever falling into that deception…

So after no blogs for a while, two in an hour! We’d say it’s a bit like waiting for a bus in the United Kingdom – you wait and wait, then two come along at once!

It’s been some time since I posted a blog – maybe explanations because of CoronaVirus/Covid19 are unnecessary as it seems to have brought much of the world to a juddering stop. When your job is to travel to countries to do mission work that are closed to everyone in and out, it makes life a little challenging in more ways than one!

I do pray that, if you’re reading this, you have evaded the virus and not been afflicted by it: or if you have, that you’re one those who have recovered from it completely. If you have issues from it, my prayer is that you’ll recover totally. As we head for the first ‘unknown’ Christmas, I pray that you’ll stay well, and be blessed during what will still be a very special season.

For me, it’s been a year of battling with personal mobility as well as aviation mobility – the knock-on effect from having had an assault with DVT late last year, which carried over into this year – and dovetailed with the arrival of lockdowns, and the increased inactivity this has produced has meant the knees have suffered.

I’m based here in Wales, still lodging with wonderfully patient friends, who – like me – thought I’d be here for a couple of months – a year ago in August! – while waiting for the means to get a place of my own. That still hasn’t – yet – materialised, and I’d be dishonest if I said that the waiting game hasn’t been stressful. It has, and those of you with existing extreme pain will know that stress doesn’t cause many blessings to your body…

It’s been a privilege to be able to keep praying for people – for that I’m very thankful as it’s like the air I breathe to me – for that the internet has been a godsend, though my way of praying for people tends to be personal and individual, with an arm around people which is a problem over wifi! But God isn’t limited, and there have been people healed regularly of everything from Corona to cancer to osteoarthritis. I’m longing for the day when God says it’s my turn for the latter to be healed in my knees!

Not knowing when the pandemic will end, it’s a bit hit and miss planning in the near future, but if things do change, my lovely friend Thanney and I are provisionally thinking of going to Cali, Colombia, in March – for me, because of the limitations of DVT and the pandemic, it’s been the longest I’ve been away from Colombia in 20+ years. I think I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms!

Because of so much negative stuff on Facebook’s newsfeed, sadly some abusive stuff from Christians who don’t seem to be able to disagree without abuse (a few ‘friends’ deleted!), I decided to set up a specific Facebook group – which glories in the name ‘Healing’s real because God’s real!’ which is by invitation only and is solely to do with the goodness, power, and miracles of our amazing God. It’s all testimonies of God’s wonderful ability to heal and do miracles.

The testimonies do appear on the newsfeed, You can read the stories here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1179568635712083/

It’s been a little while since the last blog, but perhaps with what is happening worldwide with Covid19, it’s understandable there are no ‘trip’ reports! In fact, with churches having been closed for 4 months, there are not any preaching engagements in the UK, so no testimonies about people healed or saved.

There has been time to read and pray – pray for the desperate situation so many nations are in including our own – and there HAVE been numerous opportunities to pray for people over the phone, or via Facebook Messenger/WhatsApp, and I try and take all of those if I can. It’s wonderful to see/hear about God healing through the media. I’ve preached a few times using zoom, so I’m not losing my touch completely (if I ever had ‘touch’!).

With all that is happening worldwide – Black lives matter, Covid19 rampant in the USA, South America, and even Victoria, Australia, there is so much to pray for. So many people I know are experiencing very real attack from Satan – physically, emotionally, financially – in fact most areas of life – we really do need to see the power and presence of the Trinity invading earth.

It’s been a real thrill to pray for a number of people either with COVID, or showing symptoms, and knowing God’s healed them. Praying for people ‘blind’ – not seeing them or having an arm around them – is more of a challenge, but God is no one’s debtor. I love being with people as I pray, but COVID has other ideas!

Among other things, God has healed various infections, osteoarthritis, a stroke victim, plus a number of others in process. I’m looking forward – if it’s possible to go by then – to be in Colombia at the end of October.

On a personal level, this year has been exceptionally tough, as the enemy’s attack has been relentless – as it has for the past 2-3 years, and – thinking about it – the last 20 years or so! In a way, it excites me because clearly he doesn’t like what God has in the future for me post-COVID.

Physically, it’s been difficult as I have steroid injections into my knees every 3-4 months (I’ve been advised not to have replacement surgery as I had the DVT in December and, 5 years ago, the pulmonary embolism and blood loss is too great a risk) but having had one in September, the next scheduled one was cancelled because of COVID, and I’m now waiting for an appointment with the doctor – so about a year on from the last one. Needless to say, my knees have been noticing the absence! I’m also waiting for an appointment for a steroid jab into my wrist as that’s exhibiting osteoarthritis too – I really need a God intervention! Seeing hundreds of pairs of knees healed does cause me to ‘enquire’ of God from time to time about mine…!

Fortunately, the wrist that is presenting problems is my right, and I’m left-handed, so it’s not as difficult as it might be! Nonetheless, it is very painful, so the quicker I can have some treatment the better…

I’ve been ‘threatened’ with a diagnosis – yet to be confirmed – that I have an aortic aneurysm, so the enemy has been working overtime on my body. I’m still believing that God will heal the whole lot, and while I’m waiting for that, I have every plan to get going again once countries open and airlines fly! It’s a bit of a problem getting to Colombia right now with the country closed and the airline still grounded.

It’s been perhaps the toughest year in other ways too: financially, Brexit and COVID have caused a substantial loss in support as people have justifiably (in some ways!) worried about the future, and two long-time supporters have passed away, and they were among my ‘mainstays’ in terms of amount. Throw into the mix the loss of all offerings from churches as there haven’t been any meetings since March, and it’s put immense stress on my finances.

I’ve been blessed by being able to be a lodger with friends in Welshpool – what I thought would be a month in an Airbnb (lethally expensive!) and a month with these friends, as I was praying that money pledged to me to get a house would arrive like last September. I can’t go into the reasons why it hasn’t arrived (though it will!) and maybe I’ll be able to explain one day! It’s a foundation in Australia helping me, and right now I’m thinking that God had a reason for stopping it in the summer last year, as he seems to be saying that, having been here a year it’s time to move on again. God always surprises me with where – when it was time to move in 2006 I wasn’t remotely thinking of the USA: when I returned from the States, Northern Ireland wasn’t on my radar but I ended up being there 9 years. Then I’d got a few places on my own radar for 2019 but God said – for a short time – Kent: and then, to my surprise, Welshpool! Until here, I’d always lived ‘on the edge’ of counties and countries, and it seems that the next move might well be ‘in the middle’ too – possibly Sheffield. I wasn’t expecting to move on, but the long delay in getting a home – which is pretty essential after a few years (it’s 37 years since I last had a house, so it’ll be a real ‘crash pad’.

My ‘stuff’ has been in storage in a garage for over a year now, so I’m not sure how that will be when it’s unloaded! I’m truly grateful for a place to have been able to stay for this length of time, but praying for the sake of my hosts, and me, that the enemy will be forced to get his chains off of the provision.

Money to live on is a different issue, and I’ll need to be massively in faith for paying the bills on a house when I move into one, as well – as always – the fares and costs of travelling to do what God has called me to do. There are many that think there’s going to be an increase in what I see God do, and what I do, so as well as provision, I need a fairly extensive healing blessing from God!

No one really knows what will happen to airfares once regular flying is available again, as so many airlines have have cut their fleets extensively. So I have many unknowns to budget for without being able to budget!

I’m longing to get back to being with people again to minister to them, I’ve missed it so much as I’m a people person and love people – and while media is a substitute of sorts during this unreal time in human history, Lord let me get back on the road.

Not so long ago, I was in University Hospital, Cali, Colombia, to go ward to ward praying for the patients. Began in the men’s terminal ‘medical’ ward, a wonderful place to raise MY faith and save the lives of lots of men.
In bed 1 was a man so emaciated, and grey skin, not the lovely olive colour of most Latinos, he looked like he was in a coma or at least deep sleep, even dead. These were men with few days, even just hours to live.

I sat on Rafael’s bed (a scrap of torn paper with his name in felt pen at the top of his bed, and heard my mum whisper from 6000 miles away – Paul, it’s filthy, you’ll catch so many diseases. When you get back to the apartment burn your trousers!!!) and gently put my hand on his shoulder to wake him if he WAS only sleeping. He opened his eyes, looked surprised to see a gringoe (any foreigner in Colombia is a gringoe!) sitting on his bed.

I said to him that he didn’t look too good (wouldn’t have blessed him to say you look like death warmed up!) that I was Paul, and I’d love to pray for his healing because I love Jesus and believe he’s the healer.

He told me he’d only got a very few hours to live from what the doctors said, I heard myself say ‘no problem’! (whaaat?? am I out of my mind?).He told me that in the past he’d been a Christian, but backslidden became an alcoholic and drug addict, and lived on the streets for the last 7 years. Because he’d backslidden, he said he didn’t deserve to be healed. I told him that that sort of comment wasn’t in my Bible, and Jesus loved him, and his honesty.I told him about Jesus, healing people, and telling us that by putting OUR hands on people and they’d get well too.

So what’s wrong, Rafael? ‘I’ve got bowel and anal cancer’ was his answer – it shocked me as at that time I’d never come across anal cancer. He was wearing a little short nightshirt, and before I could stop him, he SHOWED me the effects of anal cancer… I still have the picture in my head!

I told him that maybe laying hands on his afflicted part would be ‘difficult'(!) and as I put my hand on his shoulder, he laughed at the hands on the anus comment – dying, 2-4 hours to live, and still a sense of humour…

The moment he laughed, he shouted. ‘I’M HEALED, I’M HEALED!!’ and pulled up his nightshirt both to have a look AND show me (thank you so, so much, Rafael!!). Needless to say, it had a huge impact on all the dying patients around him, especially the doctors and nurses! They kept him there another day or so to check up on the miracle, and then – as a street sleeper previously – WENT HOME to live with his sister who’d previously disowned him.

I was sitting on the bed crying like a baby…

There were about 50 men in that ward, most of them dying, and everyone was healed except one.

That ONE was the only Christian in the ward. I asked if him if he wanted God to heal and he shouted ‘NO!’ Rather taken aback I asked why. ‘I’m angry with God because he didn’t let Moses into the promised land!’ Absurd reason! I said to him that when/if he got to heaven, ask Moses if he’d had swapped or exchanged going into the promised land, or being glorified with Jesus in Matthew 17…

The damage a religious spirit can do to you…

I find it, even now, almost unbelievable that 37 years ago, through prayer from Ian Andrews, that God has used me to see increasingly wonderful miracles as well as a myriad ‘less’ amazing healings. I’m one of those people who’d have said ‘God can’t use me, I’ve nothing to give, a no one, shy, lonely, and from age 12 (1964/5) to 1987 was ‘pew’fodder’ and always would be until I got so bored I’d give up forever. Then life changed, I owe so much to Ian, Jackie Pullinger, and China for that. Meeting ex-dead ladies in China was significant (meaning they were no longer dead – I shook hands with them and hugged them). Then my life really began, and I could never be a pew-filler again, I’d die if church was all I had… and church without being able to use the gifts of the Spirit…

When I was in High School, I ran on the cross country team.  I had been running competitively for only 2 years, and only in track and field, so this was new to me.  Towards the end of the season, I had worked my way onto the varsity girls’ team and was slowly climbing the ranks.  At one of the last races of the season, I felt my right knee start to have intense pain.  I was benched after that race, and could only ‘run’ on the elliptical machine.  My season was over.  I went to a doctor to try to figure out what was wrong with my knees and was diagnosed with patella tendonitis and lateral insertion of the patella tendons.  Essentially, the muscles around my knee caps were not strong enough to hold the tendons in place, and so they were flexing over the edge of my knee cap when I walked or ran, and would get inflamed.  I lived with the pain in my right knee for three years before I met Paul Bennison.  I was attending a Young Persons Discipleship Training School in Perth, Australia in January 2003 when I met Paul.  At that point, I was struggling to go up and downstairs, and could not walk without significant pain in my knee.  I had discussed with a doctor that when I returned back to the States, that if there was no improvement, that I may need surgery to correct the problem.  Paul came and spoke about healings and miracles, and was a vessel for the Lord to open my heart to hope for a miracle.  At the end of the week, Paul met one-on-one with each student and gave a word from the Lord.  After my first meeting with him, I felt such a burden to have him pray over me again, and also to pray for my knee.  The second prayer totally unnerved me.  He spoke God’s love into my heart, and then prayed for my knee.  I felt a burning sensation all over my knee, and couldn’t even get out of the chair. The sensation lasted for about 3 minutes, and then slowly faded.  When I was able to stand again, I knew the Lord had healed me.  It’s been 10 years now, and I am still pain-free!  Praise the Lord!  Paul Bennison boosted my faith, and inspired me to trust for a miracle.  I now have a burden in my heart to pass along the amazing gift the Lord gave to me to others who struggle with knee problems.  I have seen a handful of healings over the same problem I had in the last 10years.  I am so grateful to Paul for inspiring such faith!

“On March 8th at Seaford, following the evening meeting, Paul asked for people to go forward for prayer. Paul was already praying with someone next to him, so I sat quietly beside Paul and waited.  He turned to me and asked me to pray for the person with him.  It seemed the most natural thing to do and as I extended my hand to pray, before I said a word, I felt all the pain leave my body.  I did not realise how much pain I had been in – back, arms, shoulders, legs, hips and feet.  Paul then prayed and sealed the healing work of Jesus in my body.”   John Kennett, Fresh Springs Christian Fellowship, Seaford.

O meant to tell you. I met Diane who used to be at the Green and we were talking about you – you may remember her because she was due to go Into hospital for an operation on her shoulder the next day and you prayed for her. When she went to hospital the surgeon said there was no need for an op but if she had any more trouble, she could ring him straight away and he would fit her in. That was 10 years ago and she hasn’t rung him yet!.

Be encouraged!

Yvonne

With the prophetic words of GOD i received before i meet you, with our prayers (church of Lisieux and yours) we have the miracle !

Gabrielle (the little girl of 3 years old in the same class of my son Ilan) is healed ! Gabrielle was healed from cancer Franck, Aude, Ilan and Debora – DIPPA PRISO Family Lisieux

Today a very dear friend of mine from Sweden posted the beautiful ‘Blessing’ song on Facebook – in Swedish. It’s really lovely, especially as Sweden is high up the list of my favourite countries, and a wonderful place to go.

On the video, there are many churches named that I’ve had the privilege of preaching in, and praying for people. And quite a few people I know singing on the video.

On my first visit I was in a lovely church in a city, Vasteras, and it was a great meeting. I had a good friend, Heidi, with me, a very prophetic young woman with a healing gift, too. There were three men at the front in wheel-chairs, very clearly stroke victims. I’ll be honest, at that time I sued to leave people in wheel-chairs to the end in the hope that everyone else would have gone home or someone else would pray for them (!)

This night I knew I had to go to them first, and knew which one should be first. I held his hand as he was unable to shake hands, introduced myself through the Swedish translator, and asked his name. ‘Jose Luis’ ‘That’s not a Swedish name, it’s Latino’. ‘I’m Latino’ he replied. ‘Where from?’ ‘South America’. I said that was a big continent(!) -which country? One in the north that’s very dangerous, foreigners don’t go there. I said that could apply to most Latino countries, which one? Colombia? ‘Yes, I’m from Colombia’. I was there 4 weeks ago. You were in COLOMBIA? Yes. Which part are you from – by now I was speaking some Spanish to him…. ‘the south, a city no one goes to as it’s far too dangerous’. That covers a few cities! – Buenaventura, Medellin, Pereira…. ‘You know those cities?’ Yes, but I think you come from Cali. ‘You know Cali?’ Yes, I was there 4 weeks ago! ‘ Which part of Cali are you from? ‘The east’ – I said the east was pretty big, was it Agua Blanca? ‘You know Agua Blanca?’ Same answer again… Yes, I go there often. What street in which district are you from? Turned out I’d stayed on one street and he’d lived on one that joined it at right angles! His face was a picture, you could see in his face faith rising because God had clearly put us together.

I asked him if he wanted to be healed (!) – he did – so I suggested he get up out of the chair. I didn’t feel with what God had done ‘surreptitiously’ that I needed to pray: his withered bent left arm straightened, and his right arm which was completely still in his lap both moved to the arms of the seat, and unaided he got out of the chair. It was incredible. His wife and kids were laughing and crying, Jose was laughing….

The next guy spoke good English – Tony – same condition as Jose: what do you want God to do for you? ‘I want what he’s just had!’ nodding towards Jose, who was now walking out of the church. So I said ‘Well, get up and be healed in Jesus’ Name’ – which he did, instantly! To say he was over the moon would be an understatement – the same as me!

The third guy, Peter, was the same – what do you want God to do for you? It must be getting easy for you after those two! His answer was like a kick in the stomach. ‘If I’m healed and get out of my wheel-chair, will I lose my benefits?’ I told him that doubtless he would – but at late 30 years old, he’d have his life back.

‘Please don’t pray for me’. You could have knocked me with a feather. Who would prefer benefits to miraculous healing? It didn’t take the joy of the first two guys away but it made me realise – as I had previously – that some people DON’T WANT to be healed. They come forward for the attention, maybe, but I know quite a number of people who’d prefer to use the excuse of illness or disability than be blessed by God and healed.

It’s one of the things I ask God about before I ‘waste time’ praying for someone who doesn’t want what God wants to give them. It’s sad, but true. Many others got healed that evening in Vasteras, so it was a great evening, but I’ll never forget Peter….