I constantly tried the ‘Do you speak English?’ question last week in France… fortunately some did (mostly the ex-pats!), but this video clip is very funny – well worth 90 seconds of your time, especially if you’ve travelled to the….er…. United States…. as a frequent visitor there in the past, and with friends who’ve told me occasional stories too, I often found people – particularly in shops, would ask me to ‘please say that again’ – ‘Why? Didn’t you understand me?’ – ‘Yes, but I just lurve your accent’. ‘But I don’t HAVE an accent – you do! It’s called English that you speak…. invented in England, where I’m from!’.
Friends have had people make statements like ”Ahm soorry, I don’t understand yooo I speak English!’ – when ordering food, and, perhaps the best of the lot, from the deep south, where every word spoken seems to have an extra ‘y’ in it – ‘Myan, you tyalk so fyasy, I don’t even think thyat fayst!’
I’m convinced the language of heaven is going to have to be English (or tongues!), as a vast number of Americans will be silent for eternity 😉 – is that a blessing, or not…????!!!! I’m hoping it might be Spanish now I’ve dusted off my book of 501 Spanish verbs, and am about to set loose on the Rosetta Stone ‘Latin American Spanish’ teaching course! I can get by there, often with a lot of laughs from the Latinos, but they really appreciate you having a go at their lingo…
I love to pray for people for healing in Spanish, and some time back, when my Spanish was somewhat worse than it is now, I was praying for a lovely pastor, Umberto, in Cali, Colombia, who needed both hips replacing, with a knock on problem of extreme pain in the major bones in his legs (I know that problem now from the old knees!). With a crowd gathered round, I began my prayer in Spanish: bizarrely I could remember the word for ‘hips’ – carreras…so ‘en el nombre de Jesus, yo ordene nuevos carreras (in the name of Jesus, I command new hips)… and as I was about to embark on phase 2 of the prayer, realised I’d forgotten the word for bones…. somewhat flustered, I whispered to my dear mate Diego, often my translator, ‘What are bones in Spanish?’ ‘Huesos’ he replied… so, off I went again, still a bit flustered, but then the problem due to my mental aberration was that ‘huesos’ and ‘nuevos’ (new) are kind of similar…. ‘en el nombre de Jesus, yo ordene nuevos huevos ahorra!’ I said with as much boldness as I could muster – at which point everyone fell about laughing….
‘What did I say?’ I asked Diego. ‘Er…. you’ve just commanded him to receive new eggs’, he told me….aarrgghh! ‘Does that have any…er… other connotations in Spanish?’ I asked. ‘Yes….to do with a totally different non-bone part of the male anatomy!’ – at which point, Umberto whispered something to Diego. ‘What did he just say?’ I aske. ‘He told me to tell you that his wife will be very happy with you!’…. I went scarlet…. but a year later, in Palmetto Plaza, I was with friends, and heard my name bellowed from a way away…. It was Umberto, and his lovely wife…. he was walking totally normally, no sticks, no limp…. a big bear hug from him and ‘Hey, Paul, look!! Nuevos carreras!!!!’
His wife, with a wicked grin on her face, gave me a ‘thumbs up’ sign, and say…. ‘Y nuevos heuvos tambien!’ (And new eggs, too…!). It’s so much fun…. I don’t know if this will work, but thislink SHOULD take you to a photo of Umberto.. http://www.flickr.com/photos/elastichamster/8661849448/in/set-72157633251245649/ in the brown t shirt… his wife is in pink well hidden by Edgar!